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An American Carol
An American Carol is a 2008 satirical pro-conservative comedy film directed by David Zucker. It's chock-full and loaded with stupid humor and nonsense, especially its poking fun at liberals including Rosie O'Donnell, so it explains why many other conservatives praise the film. Most liberals aren't pacifists and are not the way the film shows them. Also most University professors are intelligent, hard working people and are not the way the film imagines. Liberals don't want to abolish the 4th of July celebrations since the 4th of July was the start of a great liberal idea called Democracy. Liberals don't call Americans pigs or want Americans to die, on the contrary, we oppose the Death penalty. Plot Michael Malone, a sloppy parody of Michael Moore, is shown campaigning to abolish the 4th of July. Malone is shown to hold pronounced anti-American views and argues about America's past and present as being offensive and is against it being celebrated. Josh Malone, Michael's nephew, is an officer in the United States Navy and is about to deploy to the Persian Gulf. They have nothing to do with each other. At an awards ceremony hosted by Paris Hilton, Malone receives the Leni Riefenstahl Award for his documentary titled "Die, You American Pigs." Then Michael is at a special premier in Cuba for his new documentary about health care in the United States and how it is far inferior to the health care system in Cuba, which he declares to be an "island paradise." On the evening of July 3, while Malone is watching a speech from President John F. Kennedy and he accidentally takes part of his speech to mean avoiding war at all costs, Kennedy steps out of the television set, tries to correct Malone while grabbing him, and tells him that he will be visited by three spirits the next day. Malone is first visited by General George S. Patton, the first spirit who tries to make him change his views. Arguing that sometimes war is necessary for the greater cause, Patton shows him an alternate world where slavery still exists because Abraham Lincoln chose not to fight the Civil War and how British Prime Minister Chamberlain appeased Adolf Hitler After this, Patton shows a college classroom, setting it to a musical tune and having the professors sing about how their views on peace and life have not changed since when they were Hippies in 1968, and will give good grades to students who agree with their views. The students openly admit to Patton that their parents merely are 'glad that they were out of the house". Calling it 'indoctrination' rather than 'education', Patton leaves after making a comment to some parents who walked in the room that this was "what you (the parents) spent your life savings on." Malone is also shown with a parody of Rosie O'Donnell being interviewed by Bill O'Reilly concerning the abolishing of the 4th of July attempts. Patton apologizes for his apparent-looking failure before the altar of a Manhattan church to his 'father'. To Malone's shock, he learns that the General was addressing not God, but the ghost of George Washington (Jon Voight) that he was idolating, who reveals that this is the very church where he prayed for his country every day of his Presidency. When Michael talks about the large amount of dust there, the second spirit that is Washington opens a door and reveals that it comes from the 9/11 attacks. Shaken but not moved, Malone is visited by the third spirit who is the Angel of Death (Trace Adkins), who takes him to a futuristic Los Angeles which is seen to have been taken over by radical Islamists and later, he is taken to the ruins of his hometown in Michigan, which was destroyed by a nuclear bomb planted by Al Qaeda. In a makeshift morgue, Malone learns that he will be killed in this attack, leaving nothing behind but his trademark hat and big butt. Malone pleads for his life with the Angel, promising to change. Later, Malone arrives at an anti-Fourth of July protest rally and publicly renounces his former views. The outraged protesters call him a traitor and charge the podium intending to murder him. He is rescued, however, by American servicemen and pulled inside of a country music concert for the military troops where he is formally welcomed to "the real America". After barely preventing one of the terrorist bombing there, he runs to the docks in time to see his nephew Josh off to the Persian Gulf and makes up with him. He tells Josh how very proud he is of him and promises to look in on his wife and family during his deployment. Later on, he begins to film another biopic of JFK, which he "intends to be more accurate than Oliver Stone's version". Category:Film stubs Category:Film Category:Conservatism Category:Things Conservatives Love Category:Neo-Conservatives Category:Things Liberals hate Category:Things That Are Not Awesome Category:Things that keep people awake at night